Couples’ therapy is a form of psychotherapy composed of a couple in an intimate relationship working with a therapist on issues related to one or both of the partners. There are many misconceptions about this type of therapy. Many people fear even suggesting the idea to their partners… But here we explain the basics of couples’ therapy and some of the most important things you should know.
The Treatment
The focus of the treatment can either be general or specific. Couples can work on building the relationship as a whole or address a specific incident that has affected one or both of the partners. In contrast to couples’ counseling, however, couples’ therapy focuses more on dealing with each partner’s individual struggles rather than the therapist giving specific input into the relationship. For more about couples’ counseling, click here.
As with other therapeutic treatments, one thing stands out as the most important in couples’ therapy: the individuals’ needs and wants. It is these needs and wants that determine the course of therapy and the direction it takes. During the first few sessions, each partner’s background is established along with some context for the relationship. After that, the couple and therapist collaboratively set the treatment objectives.
The objectives are therefore based on the following factors:
(1) Each partner’s individual needs and wants
(2) The couple’s shared goals for the relationship
(3) The therapist’s assessment of the relationship
The Therapist
The role of the therapist is very critical in couples’ therapy. The therapist is no longer dealing with an individual client and his or her own perception but rather bringing in two clients who might view similar situations in different ways. As such, it takes a skilled and trained therapist to be able to lead and work on the treatment of a couple.
Because couples’ therapy involves heavy work regarding struggles each partner deals with on both a personal and relationship level, such a treatment requires the active participation of the therapist. While the therapist does leave some space for head-to-head discussions between the two partners, such conversations are not prolonged. Instead, the therapist consistently provides their own input in order to maintain a safe and controlled environment.
As you might assume, the therapist is crucial to the success of couples’ therapy. The therapist provides an extremely valuable third opinion and facilitates communication between the partners in order to help them reach their desired objectives. However, as previously mentioned, the direction and pace of the treatment are determined and then constantly readjusted to fit the comfort and status of the couple itself.
The Outcome
Since no two couples’ treatment is the same, the outcome and timeframe of couples’ therapy largely depend on the original objectives determined in the session.
Furthermore, while sessions provide remarkable insight along with the space and opportunity for safe and deep emotional expression, the desired outcome is almost always behavioral application. To that end, sessions often include assigned work aimed at helping the couple consistently apply and practice the skills they learned in the session.
The overall outcome would then be improved communication within the couples’ relationship, greater understanding of each partner’s needs and wants, and heightened satisfaction with the state of the relationship.
Do We Need Couples' Therapy?
Couples’ therapy is not one of those things you need, but that’s actually the best part. There is no singular point at which you have to seek it out. Many relationship problems turn out to be minor issues the couple can work through themselves. But what often happens in intimate relationships is a clash between emotion and logic or one partner’s needs and the other’s. An actually pretty compatible couple can end up in states of heightened tension simply because the interactions become too intense. This is where couples’ therapy can do wonders.
If you sense that this tension might be building up, it’s a good time to consider couples therapy. In an era where everything seems replaceable, be the couple who shows up and does the work. You’re better off nurturing what you do have than giving up on what once seemed like bliss.
If you’re having trouble reconnecting with your partner and bonding the way you did in the beginning stages of your relationship, consider booking a session. It might just be the best thing you do for your relationship – and, consequently, yourself.
Dr. Lori Lundin-Fish, Ph.D., LMFT
Palm Beach Therapy Center, LLC.
3200 N Federal Highway, Suite 206-14,
Boca Raton, FL 33431
(718) 916-7759
Lori@wordpress-655022-4263709.cloudwaysapps.com